July LIF
My goodies!
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July 25, 2008
Sleepless
We have been going through some really brutal sleep issues. That's nothing new of course, but it's been even worse lately! (Every time I think it cannot get worse, it does.) I have been reassuring myself by reading (and re-reading, after all, I slept through it the first time) Ask Moxie's post about the 18 month sleep regression, which we've been dealing with for the past several months. It's been awful. Example: Bedtime at 8pm, but up at 11pm... and up until 4am! This is with us trying everything we can think of, to get her to sleep. Actually, mostly me... after all, my husband has to get up at 6:30 and go to work! But at 3am I finally got him up and asked him to take her out for a drive, I was just so frustrated.
Of course she can tell when I get frustrated too, and she starts doing this adorable little "Hi!" thing that just drives me even more insane because HELLO GO TO SLEEP I AM TIRED OF YOUR CUTE ALREADY.
Last night was better. I decided to fight it out with her and keep her in bed even if she wanted out. Well, that wound up being a big mistake because after a 2 hour battle, she took a huge poop, and then went right to sleep. ARGH!
Today I went out and bought every sleep book available. Of course, tonight she went down to sleep without a hitch and is sleeping like a gorgeous angel. No longer a baby, though, definitely a child now, long strong legs curled against a pillow, face all shmooshed up. So gorgeous. Cannot believe she is not a baby anymore. Cannot believe she is finally asleep!
July 11, 2008
Discipline
I've never been a very disciplined person. Meaning I didn't have much discipline from my parents as a child, rebelled against the little they tried to provide when I was a teen, and have never really gotten the whole self-discipline thing very well. I am working on it, and I'm now working on providing more concrete, firm discipline for Bella as needed. I practice gentle discipline, I do not believe in spanking. I do think that children require limits and guidance and I am trying to give that to her. For example, she will take my water bottle, drink, and then throw it on the ground and walk off. I'm now finding a way to make her go back, pick it up, give it to me, and wipe up the water she got all over the place.
This really consists of me helping her every step of the way, but still, I figure she is learning, right? I've also started doing very gentle time-outs when I'm not sure what else to do with her, especially when she is hitting. Quite often she is hitting HERSELF which is horrible to see, and I hate it so much! I discussed it with her pediatrician and apparently it is normal, but that doesn't make it better for me. I have tried eighty zillion different ways of reacting to see if anything makes a difference, and, nope, it doesn't. So now if she is just out of control hitting herself or me or trying to hit the dog, I take her into our spare room, sit her on the bed, and tell her to just take a minute and I will be right back. I'm not yelling, or shaming, or telling her she is bad. I very much want her to understand that it is ok to feel what she is feeling, and she knows she can hit a pillow or the couch all she wants. But hitting herself or others is absolutely not ok.
Today I really lost my shit with her though: sign me up for Worst Mommy in the World. We were on a walk in the woods, and this was our last walk for a while, after what she put me through! She just wants to run away from me. For a while I would holler, "Bye!" and walk in the other direction, and that worked, a little. But now she is like, "Whatever! I do what I want!" and ignores me completely. Miss Smartie Pants knows darned well that I won't really leave her. But she is allowing herself to get so far from me that it scares me to death! And then I wind up having to go back and get her, and of course you know what happens next, right? She runs the other way! After the third time of her doing this I grabbed her and kind of shrieked in a very out of control way: "DO NOT RUN FROM MOMMY!" Arggghh, yeah, the whole shrieking banshee thing is sure to bring her running in my direction! I then plonked her in the stroller, buckled her in tight, and headed for home, fuming! FUMING! I walked past someone on the trail who I feel certain heard my panicked shrieks, because he sure gave me a weird look.
It sucks, because I adore watching her in the woods. She loves it! She runs and runs, little chubby legs flying, and she now will say, while she runs... "I RUU-IINNNNG!" *siiiigh* I adore her. I adore every little chubby iota. I wish I had a better solution for the running away stuff. If you have any ideas, feel free to share!
Obama: WTF!
Meanwhile, Barack Obama is complaining that his "friends on the left" just don't understand him -- he's not moving to the center, he is "no doubt" a progressive, just one who now supports the scandalous FISA "compromise" and Antonin Scalia's views on gun rights and the death penalty, no longer plans to accept public campaign funding, and wants to make sure women aren't feigning mental distress to get a "partial-birth" abortion (the right's despicable term of choice; the correct phrase is either late-term or third-trimester abortion).
Man... I really hoped that he would NOT step into the "lesser of two evils" role, and now here he is.
July 09, 2008
The Last Time
Do you remember the last time your baby kicked you from inside your belly? I don't. I went into labor in the middle of the night, so it's likely that she was kicking me in my sleep, and I just don't remember. I don't remember her kicking me during the labor either, although I'm sure she did.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately because Bella is becoming less and less interested in nursing. I keep wondering when the last time will be, and if I will know it is the last time, or if I'll forget all about it until much later, like I did with her kicking me. I want to remember. I want to remember all the last times! I want to remember the last time she needs my help to go up and down the stairs, I want to remember the last diaper I put on her, I want to remember the last night she snuggles up to me in bed, I want to remember the last time she comes running over to me hollering "AhahAHahAHAhahaha!" and slams into me for a hug. I want to remember everything, and I know that my brain just cannot take it; so much new stuff happens that the old stuff just fades away.
What about you? Do you remember any important last times for you and your child?
July 07, 2008
Curls...
I feel like I spend all day long every day chasing around a head full of bouncy red curls. Today we went to Cooper's Rock State Forest for Bella's first hike! Well, we went on a tiny hike yesterday, but this one was bigger and more deliberate. Plus, we took the dog, which really ups the "Real Hike" quotient in my mind. Anyways, Bella did great. The trail was a mess, very uneven, muddy. She was just running around having a blast. I got some amazing photos of her and Charlie together! We were out there for about an hour, maybe a little more, and we hiked for under a mile! Things just take longer with Bella around.
We returned home sweaty and muddy to find that our landlord had stopped by in our absence to repair a leaky faucet, and left us with no water! Apparently he was "fixing" it and "broke" something so now we have "no water."
I curled up with Bella like I always do, to help her down for her nap. We're doing a lot better; we've reached the No Twiddle zone, which is just a great place to be! She fell asleep pretty quickly, and I found myself drifting off with her. I woke up to a huge, huge, huge crash of thunder that sounded like it was about to rip the roof off the house. The bed and walls were literally vibrating from the force of it! Bella was all snugged up against me, wearing only a diaper, all snuggly soft babyflesh and bouncy curls. I held her a little closer with all that thunder. I thought I should get up, but the thunder was just so LOUD and scary, I didn't want to leave her. I fell asleep again, and we slept together for three and a half hours! Her usual nap time is about two hours. Sleepy us!
We decided to get a room at a hotel just to take showers; I don't like to leave my dog alone overnight, so we are back home to sleep for the night. At the hotel, we went to the pool and swam for an hour and had a wonderful time. I just felt so happy, in the warm water with my baby in my arms smiling and laughing and splashing.
Now, of course, I'm up when I should be sleeping. So I better get to bed, lots more chasing to do tomorrow!
July 05, 2008
Mosaic meme...
Gosh I haven't posted in FOR EVER! Yikes. Well, Bella has been going through the 18 month sleep regression. From. Hell. It has been awful. More on that later though! I found this cool meme and decided it would be a good way for me to get back into blogging. I've missed it. Anyways, here it is.. rules and all that are below.
Mosaic Rules
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name.
I found this meme on Elle PhD, but it originated..,. er, well, I'm not exactly sure where it originated, but I see some other bloggers doing it. Here's one, and another, and I bet there are more! The only ones I fudged were the "What is your greatest love" question, because that answer has to be my husband and daughter, without question; and my flickr name, because I do not have one.
Apparently, I need one.